Resources

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Domestic abuse

Teaching girls and young women about red flags in relationships

  • Advance has launched a series of free downloadable toolkits designed for educators and parents/carers to help girls and young women spot the red flags in relationships.
  • The toolkits are based around a short film I Love My Loud Voice telling the stories of five individuals aged 15 to 21, based on the real-life experiences of domestic abuse survivors supported by Advance. The film explores their understanding of healthy relationships, their journey to accessing support, and impact on their lives.
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Fraud and Scams

The Cost of Love

 

Good sense of humour, loves dogs and theatre too,

Partial to a beach walk, could that be with you?

The advert caught my eye and I lingered to read more;

"I'm looking for a soul mate, someone to adore"

 

The pessimist in me said she’s too good to be true,

But I pondered it a while and decided to pursue.

500 emails later and long chats on the phone,

She became my rock, I no longer felt alone.

 

She was such a loving person and a carer for her sister,

But one night she called me crying, and I could barely hear her whisper;

"My sister is so poorly, I need to plan ahead,

the doctors have advised me that she needs a special bed”

 

My love shed many tears and explained all she’d been through

“I just don't have the money, and I don't know what to do,

My boiler needs repairing, my savings have been spent,

my car needs two new tyres, and I just can’t pay my rent”

 

We had planned to meet up soon, she had said she'd come to Dorset,

but now that this had happened, she no longer could afford it.

 

I thought of all the good times that we had planned together,

and how our late night talks had alluded to "forever".

I trusted her completely, I felt our souls were one,

I feared that I would lose her, before it had begun.

 

I asked how I could help her, how could I make things better?

My feelings were so strong, yet I hadn't even met her.

She told me that she loved me, and her feelings were profound,

Then she asked if she could borrow seven thousand pounds.

She said the funds would make a difference in so many ways,

And that, she'd pay it back to me, within a few short days.

 

This was the perfect answer to how I could ease her pain,

I said I had the money, it was easy to obtain.

I'd saved hard for years I told her with delight,

I could lend her all the cash and help to make things right.

 

We laughed and cried together as I logged in to my account,

I double checked her details and keyed in the large amount.

She thanked me so profusely and said we would soon meet.

I was glad we had each other, she made me feel complete.

 

Of course, my dear reader, you can guess what happened then.

My new love disappeared, I never heard from her again.

I had been truly "ghosted" and I felt such a fool,

The way I had been treated was deceitful, hurtful, cruel.

 

I reported all the details and her plan it seemed was flawed,

The evidence was clear and she was charged with fraud.

The moral of this fable, my story told through rhyme,

Is that even those you trust could be capable of crime.

 

Louise Ahrens Reedman

 

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Online safety